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How to win when in battle with the narcissist?!

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When you have won the battle with the narcissist it has everything to do with you and not them
When you have won the battle with the narcissist it has everything to do with you and not them

I have read this so many times and in just as many different kinds of words, and many different platforms. At first, I was intrigued and wondered exactly what I could do that would actually “beat” or “win” or exhaust the narcissist to the point that the narcissist is eating crow, hunched in a corner and left with nothing but themselves in a “dark night of the soul” (so to speak) and myself feeling vindicated, winning and happy in the process.


Some of the statements, articles and words that I had read just sounded like the actions suggested were straight from the mouth of another narcissist in battle with someone like themselves, designed to use by someone who is not directly in the path of danger. At the very least some of the words that I read would cause fighting and confusion, perhaps an escalation of the narcissist’s behaviours.

As I sifted through the numerous advice out there, I knew that this wasn’t the way I wanted to go.


Frankly I was tired of fighting for myself against someone else. I had to sit with what I was thinking and what I could do for my ultimate goal.


Yes, by this time I had an ultimate goal, and it was to just be gone, away, liberate myself away from the ever oppression and darkness of the narcissist. Tired of always feeling like I had to fight for myself against someone else. I really had to sit with this and come up with what I could do to achieve my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal I had decided would not be to fight or get back at the narcissist, no, it would be to leave peacefully and with dignity (if that was possible) also strength of my own and with absolutely no involvement or for that matter even knowing from the narcissist. If I followed through with my goal, would I not be “beating the narcissist”? Would I not be getting the vindication that I so deserved, that was sought?


Perhaps I might even be able to have some energy to leave if I started keeping more of my energy than giving it so willing and yet sometimes unknowingly to the narcissist. If I keep my plans to myself and start to keep my eye contact conversation, requests, and body language to myself I could slowly and effectively give back to me. Perhaps if I used the energy, I was contemplating using to fight with the narcissist for myself I might be able to work out my exit route without interference in any way from the narcissist. I don’t know about you, but as far as I am concerned this is defeating the narcissist.


The narcissist’s goal is to use you until you are completely depleted then they get rid of you or discard you. If the narcissist is aware of your plan and they know that you are not fully depleted, dead inside, they see this as an opportunity and in if you will to destroy you more.


So, I’m thinking the best way to beat the narcissist is to leave in silence.


Do not make them aware of your plans to do this, do not look to them for answers or closure your demise and feeling empty a void or dead inside is your answer, that was their goal. The why is because they can and will and it makes them feel better, you were there to use. The closure that you seek will only happen if you make it yourself or, let the narcissist deplete you fully.


Your answers come when you can look at how not to give them anymore, when you leave, cut ties and they have no way to get in to use or to abuse you. Your answers and closure come when you see what you want out of life and in your life, when you see what you don’t want and don’t deserve. You defeat the narcissist when you silently, slowly, carefully make your plan, take back your energy and just leave. You silently make your plan, set up boundaries now, your own space, your life, your way. You successfully take away their supply you take back your life and you move on. You are strong, happy and your light returns to your life to guide you. This is how you successfully defeat the narcissist, you do you!

Take Care, Be Safe, Find Your Happy!

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